Friday, 20 October 2017

052: Reminiscing the good times


Assalammualaikum.

I wish I could post entry as often as I used to because that is how I used to be. I write a lot to express my thought. My silliest thought, if I have to speak the truth. Lol. I have just finished watching Knowing Brothers EP97 (TVXQ) and its triggered me to write about something that makes me happy despite how devastating the past month have been. Reading English as a major, I never predict it would be this hard. Achievable, still.

I did a lot actually in between those time now that I try to recall everything. I still have fun but my definition of fun just went into huge tranformation hiks. Let me do this in bullet, mind me.
  
1.  Shakespeare Macbeth Demystified @ The Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre
We are studying Macbeth by William Shakespeare for this semester in Drama Class. My lecturer had suggested us to go to this play held at KLPAC in order to let us understand better about the plot. I was excited at first because the idea of attending a play always fascinate me but the ticket sold-out quite fast. So, I decided to just pass. Besides, the ticket was pretty expensive, RM35 for student. Therefore, even though my lecturer offer another minimum 60 seats but at 8:30PM, I stand with my choice.

Lol, not until on the day of the play (27 September). Before my lecturer started the class, she called my name and another two friends of mine to meet her for awhile. I remembered I was like “What have I done? Duh.” since the lecturer is quite strict and my mind just cannot work properly tsk. Outside the class, she goes like “Okay, so I have three tickets to offer, for tonight plays. Free.”

FREE. FREE. FREE. What else do I need? I agreed instantly! She offered the tickets to us three because of something that we wrote when we first attend the class – nothing special, it just an essay about our self. Woaaaaaah! I do not recalled exactly what I have wrote, yet I clearly remember I have this intention ‘I am not going to write this in order to impress her, I will just be honest.’ Yep, I seriously did that.
  
THE WHOLE PLAY IS SOOOOO GOOD. Glad that I did went there. The actors and actress were so good, the background music and sound was damn good. The director in charge of the music made all the sound by himself using instruments – the thunder for example. It was lit! We had a Q&A session after the plays and the actors were so friendly indeed. We took pictures of course hahahahahahaha.

I probably gonna go for another play in mid November which will be held at my campus by one of my favourites production house in IIUM, The Xcapism – Inn Shaa Allah.

2. Green Tea Ice Cream should not taste this good.
Actually, I do not really like green tea nor ice cream. But somehow, I was mesmerized with the magical taste of this pure RM2.50 ice cream that I got from Family Mart at MidValley! I found my love finally. Should I travelled across 10++ LRT stations just to taste this goodness again?

I probably would – after I am over with my ‘puasa ais’ since I have competition coming this early November.

3. I go hang out a lot!
You know how going to Giant Supermarket could also be my source of happiness? Lol. I love wandering around in supermarket even if I do not have anything to buy. Ever since in CFS, I always go to the supermarket in front of my foundation centre to release stress. Lol.
  
I still did that I guess.
I also went out a few times with my cousins and I just love them a lot. Even though they are boys, they would not mind going into drugstore or any feminine-style-stores lol. #IShouldFindHusbandWithThisTrait

But they also drag me into video games stores and it was boring. Ha!

4. Orange book haul!
In the name of the need to buy novel for my novel analysis in class, I end up buying five novels (my mom does not know yet) which are:

Kenzaburo Oe – Death by Water
Harper Lee – Go Set A Watchman (bought this hardcover at BookXcess Online for only RM9.90 since it was book of the month! Super saving lol!)
Leigh Bardugo – Six Of Crows (I blame The Hundred Pages for this)
Aditi Khorana – Mirror In The Sky (I will be using this book for my novel analysis or Six Of Crows)
Paulo Coelho – The Witch of Portobello (The synopsis made me want to have this as a tool to revive me from existential crisis lol)

  
Reading slump is bad. I only started reading Six Of Crows, Mirror In The Sky and The Witch of Portobello – 20%? And yes, all at once. 

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I should be grateful, Allah had test me yet at the same time pampered me with all of this :) Mid semester break almost comes to the end, I shall be prepared for more challenges and hurdles. 

Adiosa!

May Allah ease everything!

Monday, 2 October 2017

051: let's talk, shall we?

Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre @ KLPAC
I have been living under a rock for a few weeks. Detached and forced – by whom, ugh... myself. Desperately trying to catch up with everything that goes around me. I was devastated, yes. I was defeated, somehow, yes. I realized there are things that goes beyond your expectation even though you tried very hard until you bleed.

Everything is Allah’s plan, I understand.
Allah is the best planner, I do understand that too.

It just that, coping to a situation which you personally do not favored because of exterior factor such as settings and atmosphere – it kills. And after a period of time, I started to question the purpose of all the things I have done.

Why did I do it in the first place?
What is the purpose?
This did not make me happy – again, why?

And etcetera (because I’m good at being rhetorical – especially to myself) I mean, we tend to be extra strict to ourself compared to other people. Probably because we have that sense of ‘dude, you need to be good at this and this and this.’ I told the dearest friend of mine how I am so busy to the extend of me not getting any ‘me-time’ because I would not allow myself to do so. Ya know, perasaan yang bila kau duduk saja-saja tapi rasa bersalah sebab masa tu boleh terisi dengan sesuatu yang lebih berfaedah? Lol. I am such a drama, I know.

And my friend responded by, “Apa yang kau buat sampai orang lain ada masa untuk tengok drama apa semua dan kau tak?”

At that particular moment, I realized how I have been really harsh to myself. I have been working a lot and I did not let myself to have a rest because of things that I want to accomplish recquires me to work harder than I usually do. And bam! I’m burned.

The conclusion is – don’t wear yourself too hard :) Always do something that would make us happy and have a purpose! Having a purpose (intention, niat) would help us going further. Take care of our self better because once it goes ‘haywire’ – dang girl, everything would stop functioning and shit happens. And you will feel bad


Trust me, I have been there. Lol.
This is something I received in 2015 (farewell gift from Public Speaking Class) and every time I feel tired or I am fighting with my own stress - I would read this all over again just to gain strength.

How did you guys cope with your own inner stress?