Saturday, 18 February 2017

042: Port Dickson, a short trip of finding me.

[Nota: Penulis takperasan tadi dia tekan 'Publish' walhal masih bersifat draf.]

Port Dickson, Catatan Februari 2017

Assalammualaikum

Bila Nasyrah ajak aku turun Port Dickson untuk ikut satu program kelab (yang aku tidak tahu pun kewujudannya hingga tatkala itu) dengan bayaran RM5 (makanan MashaAllah sumpah sedap heaven gila) untuk dua hari satu malam pada hujung minggu lepas aku terus cakap okay. Takfikir panjang, takfikir apa-apa. Taktahu kem apa pun, yang aku tahu aku taknak duduk dalam bilik. Mungkin juga disebabkan perasaan sesak dengan rutin sama setiap hari. 

Lol. Aku taksuka sangat rutin yang sama, aku jadi bosan, Tapi, kena ikut.

Semua berkait dengan aku selalunya diluar jangkaan. Aiseh. Dan aku suka sebahagian diri aku yang tiba-tiba boleh melencong dari jadual asal. 

Fleksibel, kata orang. Ye, ye memang tengah angkat bakul ni :')

I
Sometimes, you need to neglect your ‘intuitution’. Following them is an option actually, but who knows? Allah is the best Planner of all.

Aku selalunya rasa stres dan akan menangis bila pergi kem hahahahahaha taktahu kenapa, mesti ada sesuatu yang membuatkan aku rasa sebak sampai terusik hati. 

While I thought it is going to be like another camps I used to go; it did not.

Tapi kali ni tak, okay je sebab fasi senior takde suruh rush; masa yang diberi pun agak fleksibel untuk aku guna masa menghadap laut sambil dengan deruan ombak. Ceh.

Kem yang aku pergi ni rupa-rupanya Kursus Asas Fasilitator dan Induksi Ahli Baru bagi kelab tersebut, yang bukan ahli (macam aku) pun boleh ikut serta. And I'm glad I did. Banyak juga input yang aku dapat sepanjang dua hari satu malam di Port Dickson tu. Walaupun secara dasarnya nampak macam kosong, tapi sebenarnya berisi. 

"A good listener takbuat expression." - Bro Azmi

Sambil menyelam minum air.
Sambil berprogram, sambil menyulam ilmu dan ikatan.

Banyak juga yang aku belajar tentang bagaimana nakjadi fasilitator yang aktif dan efektif. Satu benda yang aku boleh katakan, bidang ni agak mencabar sebab dia bermain dengan psikologi jugak. Banyak perkara yang kita kena pertimbangkan. Kau kena aktif, kena banyak fikir. Kena tahu macam mana nak kendalikan satu situasi ni supaya takberada diluar kawalan, supaya dapat membuahkan satu hasil yang positif!

Ingatkan jadi fasilitator ni mudah?

Terus bertubi-tubi tembus tanah.


II
"Sudden friendship would flourish despite of different background. It’s like a bouquet of flowers, the more, the merrier! Erk."

“Assalammualaikum. Kita mulakan dengan ta’aruf dulu lepastu baru kita discuss topik yang dah diberi.” Lelaki, the one and only diantara kami berlima mengambil langkah mengetuai, memulakan muqadimah. Pemudah cara.

Maka, lima manusia berbeza jurusan dengan gelaran Kek Pisang menjadi satu buat dua hari satu malam. Berbincang isu sosial media sama-sama, makan sama-sama, sembang sama-sama, terjun Pantai Port Dickson sama-sama, main game sama-sama walaupun satu penemuan kritikal yang maha dahsyat dijadikan bahan ketawa mereka ketika itu; Fatin is bad at games, noktah.

“Cuba bayangkan kalau kita hantar Fatin?”
Jeda. Semua menghantar pandangan dengan isyarat bermakna pada satu sama lain. Tinggal aku terkebil-kebil.
Sengih mula terkoyak dibibir masing-masing sebelum ketawa bergabung.
“Ei benci ah.” Aku lempar daun kering yang dah dikoyak-koyak ke tanah. Tanda protes kononnya. Tapi makin menambah ‘perasa’ dalam ketawa mereka adalah.

Like, how can I keep consistently lose in games? 

Gelak ketawa, hingar dengar perkataan ‘Alah, tadi baru trial kan?’ berulang-ulang kali waktu main games.


III
Allah’s reminder could comes in any way, in case we all forget those so called ‘little mistakes’ while having fun.

Setuju atau tidak, ada sesuatu yang kita boleh cedok dari manusia yang kita barangkali pertama kali jumpa. Dan aku, sentiasa percaya yang dengan mengembaralah kita dapat kenal orang dengan lebih dekat, rapat dan mampat. Takkiralah, kawan mahupun orang yang asalnya asing pada diri kita. Pada masa yang sama dapat juga tengok sisi diri kita yang lain apabila diletakkan dalam satu situasi yang memerah keringat, menekan emosi dan sebagainya.

Manusia kan?

---

Aku tak amik gambar waktu pagi sebab malas nakpegang kamera, nakmasuk air lagi hahahaha maka semua aku tinggal je dalam khemah. No gadget at all for the last day. 

"Belajar terus belajar."

Thanks for the memories! 

Monday, 13 February 2017

041: new habit and a thought

Assalammualaikum

I might get hit with the ‘what actually goes linger around your mind this time? Cause man, I don’t understand’. I simply take a walk on last Sunday around my campus, alone as per usual. Packed with my camera (no, I do not own DSLR) on my backpack, black sport shoes and a slack intead of tracksuit because – I do not know. It was 6 in the evening, breezy evening,  when I decided to leave the room. Everyone gone anyway so it doesn’t matter.

I remembered going around the route outside Kuliyyah of Education, stumbled upon a river along the path where a few people go fishing there. I keep walking, sharing the route with sisters and brothers who exercise or simply jogging.  Keeping my gaze around the nature instead because you know, exchanging gaze with strangers could be burdensome sometimes. As in, should I smile or not, would they smile back or shyly ignored me? Or refuse to show me any expression because ‘I just had a terrible day, so excuse my grumpiness.’

Too much troubled.
No, I’m joking. Lol, I love smiling at strangers <3


"Pandang atas tengok apa? Jangan risau, takde buah durian akan jatuh atas kepala awak."

I fall into this habit of intense-ly staring at something above me when I deeply thinking (or thinking lol). Just for your information, if you accidentally met a girl who keeps looking up towards the sky while walking; she is not crazy. It is just something she enjoys to do. Things that bring tranquility to as she believed, a solemn world. She had a lot to ponder and wonder about life yet finding everything in this world is fascinating to try on. Its like putting on your first high heels, not knowing those sparkling shoes she used to despise would aww her at the end of the day.

Or maybe, its like having your first bite of dark chocolate – ignorant to the taste which is so different from the normal Cadbury (or Vochelle) bite you have. The richness yet so bitter in taste hit all the senses in you, but you likes it.

Unexpected surprise.

Unexpected likeliness on the expected hatred.
Boom! 
Isn’t that what life supposed to do to you?

Probably.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

[review] If I Fix You by Abigail Johnson


Title: If I Fix You
Author: Abigail Johnson
Publisher: Harlequin Teen
Pages: 304
Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance
Type: Stand-alone

Assalammualaikum

I finished reading this one since the last two week as I have mentioned in my previous entry. I can write it straight away but the thing is, from the moment I stumbled upon the first page. I feel like wanting to capture the quote into picture ._. so I edit few of my favorite quotes from the book into graphics picture. Well, whatever you name it. But life caught on, I got a week of Taaruf Week to be attend and a week of adapting myself to this so called new environment.

At last, times to chill.

As you can see from the synopsis - yes, it tells the starting line of the plot, where all the cracks later turned into a major broken pieces of Jill.  It wasn't only caused by a single person. Frankly speaking, she is badly heartbroken. Yet thinking she's not. She's trying to fix things, people and Daniel but not herself. Which later makes everything worst.

Part of it. Lol, because some things are meant to be broken for it to be better <3

I was a bit perplexed between the love line. Sure, this novel has love triangle between Sean x Jill x Daniel. Sean is sarcastic like how every best-friend-forever should be once in awhile ._. He's playing hot and cold, without realizing the mess than soon coming genuinely almost break everything.

Jill is good. She is trying to fix her relationship with Sean which I think is beyond fix-able phase because what he just did is a grave mistake. If I am in her shoe, I would not even spare a glance toward him. I might even decide to move away from him.

It just deadly mistake to our relationship and you, out of anyone is the one who did this. You.

Fuh, emosi jap. Luckily, I'm not Jill.

Daniel? Well, he's a bit complicated. He, literally, a world need to be explore. He yearns for love but he scared to give love. He spares quite a distance between himself and Jill, drawing a line to refrain himself from falling deeper (NO YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS, YOU HAD TO GO FOR IT!)

Ouch, my poor hearteu.

Besides the character, I should give a round of applause for the theme played. Mainly focus on heartbroken phases,it just us, people trying to fix the broken pieces of our self. Almost every single character shares the same diagnosis, they are broken. This book talks about family relationship beyond blood, of moving on, of being open to fix the broken us.

Of to dare protecting our loves one.


This book is beautifully written. From the moment I start reading the first page, I'm in love. Have you ever feel like highlighting every single word in a book because everything seem so fitting, so pure and beautiful. Abigail Johnson is so good in describing emotions, I love the way she played with words to describe certain things. Just the way I like it. Metaphors.

And this is only her debut novel ._. Her next book entitled 'The First To Know' would be published in the next few months. I'm looking forward for it!

The last book I fell in love so teroks would be 'To All The Boys I've Loved Before' series by Jenny Han. (Waiting for the last installment of this series by the way.)

I'm trying to work on my reading capacity, meaning; reading a lot within certain period of time. But yeah, let see.

Have a nice day with your fictional prince!

Later, thank you.


Miss me? Lol.