Tuesday, 26 April 2016

019: Attachment

Assalammualaikum

I guess a part of me refuse to attach myself to any people. Maybe, I'm just afraid that soon, people would grow tired of me. Maybe, it just me. I decline any people going across the border I have drawn - barely, growing a bond where the end is unpredictable. It scares the heck of me. 

The states of being left alone by the end of the day. I guess, back then it is okay to feel lonely since somehow I need to get used it, hook or crook. But then, this semester taught me a lot of things. Things that challenged myself in a way that I had never predict would be happenings. 

Har, it's not like my previous semesters do not teach me anything.
No. 

I mean, we always learnt something throughout the time. However, this time, it's kinda different. I have few seniors graduating this semester and yeah being in class with them is a totally new experience - especially if they are super-talkative-cool-swag seniors. No, bukan nak bodek. Hahaha. There's few of them I grow attached to, something that I would never expect myself doing.

I mean. Well, we are talking about me.

And then, I realised the effect of breaking out from our comfort. At first, I do feels quite gloomy being around people I am not used to. Loner, as always but sweet as candies gitu. I grew out of it, by times.

TO ALL OF YOU; me glad knowing you. Thanks for being there despite my horrible characters, speech and any else. Thank you, for assisting and aspiring me to be a better person, a better Muslim. Thanks for all those wishes, du'a and opportunities helping me to keep inspired to be an author. Thanks for making feels like it's okay to have fun and chill in life sometimes. Few lessons learnt, even though in a hard way. Thanks again for always showering me with your support during my speeches. I cannot be more grateful. I love you guys, more and more and more I wish I should not.

Guys, I'm attached. 
To you.
Habislah korang XD


Introduction To Law - Section 709

ps: I do not have the pictures with my classmates from Research Skills and English L6 lulz, but basically - they are the same people.

Friday, 8 April 2016

018: kasut [?]



Assalammualaikum

Aku dan kasut ada special bonding yang payah nak di-ungkapkan. Tali kasut terurai dari ikatannya tu dahbiasa. Masa sekolah dulu, selalu dahkena tegur.

“Fatin, tali kasut.”

“Fatin, ikat tali kasut tu betul-betul.”

“Fatin, lain kali stapler je tali kasut tu.”

“Fatin, kasut yang tali taktercabut pun boleh tercabut kalau dia pakai.”

Lulz.

Tu baru kira kasut, belum cerita selipar apa semua. Tercabut tengah jalan dalam hujan mencurah turun, tercabut tapak waktu pergi majlis kahwin rumah nenek saudara aku. Banyak sangat.

Dan bila masuk universiti, aku tibai kasut sukan yang aku beli dengan hanya RM20. Bertahan lama kasut tu, dari aku semester satu, sekarang nakhabis semester tiga – dengan warna hitam dan garisan hijau florecent memancar dari jauh [nasib takbuta sebab silau ngat] dan comel yang tak usah dibicara. Sekarang isi dalam kasut tu dahmacam terburai, mak aku bising suruh beli kasut baru waktu aku balik cuti pertengahan semester haritu. Mungkin sebab keadaannya yang sangat daif dan menyayat hati kot.

Aku beli je yang baru, tapi entah – penyakit apa entah, aku rasa sayang gila nakgantikan kasut lama tu dengan yang baru. Aku simpan je kasut tu bawah almari. Sebab perasaan aneh aku yang takmahu gantikan kasut lama yang dahlama berkhidmat dengan aku. Ha yelah – nakpergi kelas, Cold Storage depan universiti, pasar malam & bookstore hopping [ihiks] semua tibai satu kasut tu je. Ada lagi satu kasut, warna kelabu diatas – mula-mula aku pakai pergi kelas pastu aku guna untuk pergi latihan silat.

Bila cakap buat pergi latihan silat, em em you can expect all the dirt, lecah and stuff from the field; lagi-lagi lepas hujan. Hm, makin masyuk jadinya. Fabulous gitu.

When you get a new one, doesn’t mean you actually have to forget the old one.” Lulz, aku basuh diri sendiri. Selama ni asyik basuh kepala orang je. Parah, sebab tahap naktukar kasut sendiri kepada yang baru pun kena basuh otak. Suka sangat complicated-kan masalah.

Tsk.


Dan, disini aku – menulis perihal sepasang kasut hingga berjela. Hahahaha. Takut sebenarnya. Analoginya seperti perihal kasut aku diatas, barangkali hampir serupa. Tapi level kekusutan dia lagi tinggi, atau sengaja aku acah-acah naik ber-level.

Doakan aku.