Tuesday, 19 January 2016

011: acceptence




Pintu ditolak perlahan lalu kaki melangkah masuk kedalam ruang sempit yang penuh dengan manusia dan kerusi dibelakang yang takbersusun. Masing-masing peduli dengan diri sendiri, mungkin. Beg hitam Levi aku letak atas satu kerusi kosong, sebelah tangan lagi lincah sahaja menarik kerusi lain biar membentuk satu barisan teratur.

Punggung aku labuh, botol air dalam beg dikeluarkan sebelum air kosong itu laju sahaja menuruni kerongkong. Mata mengerling pula tingkap besar disebelah; cantik pemandangan yang terpamer dari kaca besar lutsinar itu. Bangunan yang bersusun tinggi, lusuh nampak warna biru dan krim pada dindingnya namun ada sesuatu yang membuatkan ia tampak menarik.

Mata mencerun semula ke hadapan kelas biar aku jauh terperosok dibelakang. Seorang. 

'Ah, kuatkan aku sekali lagi.'

----

Assalammualaikum ._.

I have been craving to write more despite all the works which starting to pile up on my shoulder. Not to forget, the pressure. Ugh.

I want to express more, pouring my sagged emotion. Eventhough, I do enjoy solitude, at times I just felt so lonely because I had no one which I could actually talk and interact with no worries. It's not like I have been surrounded with bunch of people who favors their own small social groups and tend to ignore others outside the boundaries set by them. No, not at all. 

It just a bad feeling that I should not have felt. 
It's hard to fit in.
It's hard to feel accepted. By them or otherwise.
And I am kind of curious either did I working on to be accepted by the people or not actually.

Duh.
Fatin, to be successful, embrace the things you hates.
Inn Shaa Allah, everything would be fine.

Inn Shaa Allah, you can do it.

Just, keep trying.



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